‘If you look after a mother, you look after her baby’ – how EmpowerMama helps mothers find their way to themselves again

Eight mothers walk in a room carrying fear, exhaustion, and the quiet sense that they’re failing. Ninety minutes later, they walk out a little steadier — and a little less alone, writes volunteer community journalist, Carla Krenzke.

From the question of whether the courses would be interesting to becoming a finalist in the UK StartUp Awards within a few months is something Dr Chloe Marshall could have never imagined. The clinical psychologist, two-time mother and now a business owner, is the founder of EmpowerMama.

The CIC Business offers fully funded groups for mums of under-3s in Bishop Auckland. She started the business because she felt the gap herself. Chloe had her first child during the covid-19 lockdown, meaning a lot of isolation. “I would just kind of power through. And I don’t think I realised the level of anxiety until I’d then gone on to have a second child.”

Being a mother is underestimated. Just like Chloe did, many others often think they can handle everything, because that’s the standard and often expected. But this isn’t the truth: “It’s hard and it’s a shock,” says Chloe.

After the psychologist experienced firsthand what can happen to your wellbeing and mental health in motherhood, she built on what she had needed. Perinatal mental health services exist — but they’re reserved for those already in crisis. For everyone in between, there have been very few options.

So, for Chloe accessibility was never negotiable. Most mothers, she says, would always spend money on playgroups or toys rather than on themselves — and private therapy puts professional support out of reach for many. “Research shows that if you look after Mum, you look after baby,” she says. “So that’s why I wanted to start with mum.”

Ninety minutes of talking. Talking about your concerns, your fears and getting professional support as well as support from other mothers – that’s what a session normally looks like.

Chloe is joined by two non-executive directors: Nadine Hirst, who brings experience from the care sector, and Sarah Green, a mental health nurse. Between the three of them, each weekly session takes on a different theme. Managing overwhelm, relationships, self-compassion and, a highly needed one, rediscovering identity. “When you become a mum, you just lose yourself,” she says, “so we have a session thinking about actually you and how we can rediscover who you are aside from being a mum.”

The final session is called a ‘celebration’ — and it earns the name. Each mother arrives with someone close to her: a partner, her own mother, or a friend. They are asked to speak about what they have noticed in her since she became a mum. Positive changes. Quiet strengths. Things that often go unsaid.

“It’s a safe space to share experiences with mothers in a similar position,” one participant reflected afterwards. “The content made me reaffirm I am a good mum and helped me with coping mechanisms when things weren’t going as well as expected.”

The weight mothers carry doesn’t come from nowhere. It is built on expectations that have followed women into motherhood for generations — which still, largely, haven’t shifted. In addition to that, the media plays a big role. “We’re probably the first generation of mums who have got access to social media and the pressure that comes with that,” Chloe says.

Influencers and people who think they know better tell you everything: what your child should and shouldn’t be doing, what you are doing wrong, what you really need, on and on. People market it as advice, but it turns into pressure and anxiety really fast.

Right now, there is a particular element that causes many women a lot of stress – gentle parenting. A term that describes a new form of raising your children, emphasising emotional attunement and patience over authority. Chloe, as a psychologist, believes in it. But she is honest about the cost. “That comes with the pressure of needing to be perfect all of the time, and that’s impossible as a human.”

And yet, impossible or not, mothers keep trying. That’s exactly why Chloe Marshall created EmpowerMama.

Being from Bishop Auckland, she wants to give something back to the area she is passionate about. EmpowerMama is just at the beginning and already a known place for mothers to feel like themselves again. Ahead lies an online workshop, a book club, and growth on her own terms.

Chloe is clear about one thing: motherhood doesn’t stop at three years old. Neither should the support around it.